Two Indian motorists discussing TOI’s ‘No honking’ initiative.1st motorist:Why has TOI, which as a rule takes up sensible causes, launched this ridiculous ‘No honking’ campaign?
2nd motorist: Beats me. The whole world knows that no one honks their horns in India, for the simple reason that there’d be absolutely no point in honking.
1st motorist: Exactly. Honking? Honking is for sissies and wimps. What you need on Indian roads in order to get yourself heard and make your presence felt is not a horn that emits a namby-pamby honk. What you need are horns that go SHREEEK! SCHREEECH! BLAAAST!
2nd motorist: Not to mention POOH-PAAAH! And YEEEOW! YEEEOW! YEEEOW!
1st motorist:That’s right. No one’s going to hear an itty-bitty little honk in all that racket, that sheer Niagra of noise that floods our streets on any given day. People keep talking about road rage. What they should really be talking about is not road rage but road raga, India’s unique contribution to the musical world thanks to us being such a horny lot.
2nd motorist:Why are we so horny? Could it be because we want to show everyone how macho we are? Something to do with our hormones?
1st motorist:Maybe. But some of the horniest among us aren’t macho men but women who out-macho men in this department. So i don’t think it’s got to do with hormones so much as hornones.
2nd motorist:Hornones? What are hornones?
1st motorist: Hornones are an indispensable part of the genetic make-up of every Indian motorist, male or female, without which that person can’t qualify to be a true Indian motorist. It’s a constitutional thing.
2nd motorist: Constitutional thing? You mean like those fundamental rights guaranteed to us by our Constitution?
1st motorist:Well, in this case it’s more like a fundamental blight guaranteed by our constitution with a small ‘c’. Yeah, being horny is just part of our DNA.
2nd motorist:DNA as in Deoxyribonucleic Acid?
1st motorist: No – DNA as in Deafening Noise Always.