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Satire -Christmas Celebrations in ‘Party-with-a-difference’- BJP

Narendra Modi
It might seem a little odd that a party inspired by Shri Hedgewar and Shri Golwalkar is celebrating Christmas, and New Year according to the Christian calender, with fire crackers in each other’s face.
But it is a party with difference. It therefore has the licence to do many things others don’t. So, it can be a party with differences, it can be party with ‘indifference to corruption’, it can be party with a civil war, or may be an uncivil war.
But it is indeed a party with a difference because:
i) it’s leader speaks on every issue he need not, and is tongue-tied on every issue he
ii) the leader very ably leads them from behind
iii) their alliance has both, a ruling party and an opposition within itself, or may be it is a network / federation / alliance of many sub-parties, interest groups, cliques, coteries and gangs. One is not quite clear if Shiv Sena is in the Opposition or in the ruling alliance, may be it is both at the same time. But what is clear is that the alliance with Akali Dal in Punjab might soon take them on to the Opposition benches.
iv) they’re not denying there has been corruption, their only contention is ‘leaders should not be targeted’
v) every disgruntled member first swears complete loyalty to the supreme leader and then goes about doing everything to ‘damage’ every other leader in the party.
vi) every member goes silent and becomes ‘loyal-again’ after an initial outburst.
The party, at last, has proved that it is a ‘potent’ party, that it is not ‘impotent’ as Mr Kirti Azad would allege. Now, Mr Azad’s whole campaign is based on some misconceptions and misunderstanding.
Firstly, for him cricket as a religion seems to have become more important than the Hindu religion, Ram temple in Ayodhya, cow etc.
Secondly, he seems to have misunderstood the meaning and definition of corruption. Now, he should understand that corruption is a dishonest or illegal act indulged in by ‘others’. He forgets that when ‘your own’ do the same thing it is nationalism and loyalty. And the party has a right to expect chivalry.
Thirdly, that Delhi District Cricket Association, at Rs. 16000/- per laptop per day, and Rs. 5000/- per day for a ‘puja thali’, and Rs. 3000 per day per printer, overpaid under his stewardship. Again Mr Azad is both, unfair and wrong. Everything Mr Jaitley does has to be consistent and commensurate with the rate he charges for court appearances for his poor corporate clients such as Birlas, Ruias, Ketan Parekhs et al.
Everyone who gets impatient with the ‘indiscipline’ in the party must sympathetically appreciate that  as in an oppressed or ‘disciplined’ home children do become unruly when ‘Papa is not home’. The children have become boisterous while ‘Papa’s’ gone to Russia.
Being a salesman Papa has to travel once in a while to Britain, US, Australia, Japan, Germany, France, Dubai etc., etc. He must just remember not to speak of inner party discipline at those rock star events. And airline pilots need have no inferiority complex about his flying miles being more than theirs, it’s just the nature of his job.
When he comes to India next time he should appoint a new Minister to keep everyone quiet, a ‘Minister for Silence’. Every good school has monitors for every class, or like Parliament has ‘Marshals for Discipline’, they should create these new positions in the party. In any case due to economic downturn new jobs aren’t being created by Vibrant Summits, SEZs, SIRs, Industrial corridors etc., This might indeed be the only avenue for job creation, especially because this Government and party needs lots of them. That will also be a good way of spending the foreign exchange saved from collapsing oil prices. (Everyone knows they’re not passing on the benefits to customers!) The other thing they can try is to suspend peace talks with Pakistan so that they focus on peace within the Mr Modi and Mr Amit Shah must thank their stars that the Bihari MP, Mr Kirti Azad, didn’t start his uncivil war before Bihar elections. Otherwise, instead of the 53 seats they got they may well have ended up with as many seats as in Delhi.
But the more serious problem for the party is that if they start disciplining their members for speaking out – Advani, Murli Manohar Joshi, Yeshwant Sinha, Shatrughan Sinha, Sakshi Maharaj, Yogi Adityanath, Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti, we might soon have to hold mid-term elections as they will soon become a minority in Lok Sabha.
Anand Mazgaonkar

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