Poem: Ramu Ramanathan

Narration: Puja Sarup

Hello Mr Aadhaar!
Will you stop playing the fool!
My biometric is complaining!
You are changing all the rules!

All of this began, in another age
When you pinged me: a message:
Oye Citizen Ji: Your existence is a top secret deal
It’ll be concealed, like the recipe of a homecooked meal
But digital diktats are never-ever to be meant
Now my unique identity is being leased on rent

Mr Aadhaar, I hope you had watched your own shadow
If you had been vigilant, it would not have led to such woe
You didn’t sense the surveillance, you dismissed it a bore
You didn’t hear the security breach behind a firewalled door

Mr Aadhaar, you did not realise, all this was the South Block’s reign
They made PayTm compulsory, if you want to dance in the rain
They linked every single gizmo that operated in your lane
The only thing that was free, was the self-inflicted pain

Mr Aadhaar, it is time to shut up
Drown your sorrow in a chai ka cup
Your life is pretty hazardous
You can’t even raise a fuss!

When your official card didn’t have a lamination
You were told it’s because you’re disloyal to the nation
On cue, the UIDAI numbers, evaporated with the database
Now your soul, it will be barcoded on the front of your face

My lord, Mr Aadhaar told the magistrate
Forgive me, allow my 12 digits to prostate
Please give me back my subsidies, and my life
Return my identity – courier my one and only wife

Nothing doing was the wordy judgement
This is an order from your mighty government
QR coded commandos were despatched just for fun
To capture Mr Aadhaar with their toy-boy weapons

But Mr Aadhaar, he was so full of wow
He slipped underground, that’s where he is hiding now
Not a squeak from under the Yamuna creek
Cause he knows, if he peeks it will be a scandalous leak

At 9 pm we tune in for the latest news
The Republic bores us with all its views
Mr Aadhaar, has been nabbed in the Bay of Bengal Sea
In Kala Pani he will be imprisoned along with his privacy

In a solitary cell he writes SOS with his finger print
Which the jail warden sells, and the money he mints
Mr Aadhaar’s wife leaves him to his fate, gets an alimony at the market rate
She says, Dear Ex, AVJO, you’re a risk to the security of the state

That’s why I repeat, Mr Aadhaar!
I wish you had stopped playing the fool!
The 12 digits are complaining!
That you have altered all the rules!