Despondent Correspondent | Oct 3, 2012,
NEW DELHI: In a shocking development, India has gone a full 48 hourswithout a new scam being reported. There was an uproar in Parliamentover the lethargy shown by the government in the field of corruption.
The leader of the opposition in the Lok Sabha said: “India is amongthe world’s top countries in terms of scams and corruptions. However,the shocking lack of any new scam being reported in two days shows thegovernment is not serious about stealing from the poor.” She thenrushed to the well of the House screaming, “All is well”. UPA leaderscountered her with chants of “Shush, Ma! Shush, Ma!”
SP leader Mulayam Singh was heard telling both parties he’ll supportthem at all costs.
Later, TMC leader Mamata Banerjee called a press conference to condemnthis ‘shocking attempt at honesty and clean governance’. She said herparty would move a no-confidence motion against the UPA government butno one in the press conference understood her accent.
The media too unleashed a series of editorials slamming the lack ofscams. “What will we print?” was the popular question. Some newschannel anchors were seen frothing at the mouth and screaming foranswers but experts said this was normal behaviour.
Shaken by the developments, the Prime Minster addressed the nationlive and promised to tackle the situation after the go-ahead fromMadam. He first apologized for his statement: “Money does not grow ontrees.” He said: “Clearly, I was mistaken. Money does grow on trees.However, these trees are only found in the homes of people with stakesin coal mines.”
The PM promised that judicious use of the RTI Act, sting operations byTV channels and vague reports by the CAG will soon bring more scams tolight. “It is inevitable,” he said.
Meanwhile, to give citizens other things to focus on, the governmentraised the price of fuel. “I like raising the price of fuel every nowand then. It is a hobby,” said petroleum minister Jaipal Reddy.
Baba Ramdev too joined the jamboree. He started by congratulating thePM over his miracle – the discovery of speech. Addressing a pressconference in women’s clothes, which he claimed are the latestfashion, the guru told the nation to sit in front of their TVs andvigorously push their stomachs in and out in an attempt to fightcorruption.
Sources said by the time this article gets printed a new scam is boundto have come to light.
(This piece is a work of fiction intended to bring a smile to yourface. It bears no connection to events and characters in real life.)