Miss Payel Bhattacharya, was diagnosed with a rare disease von Hippel-Lindau or VHL. It is a genetic form of cancer. VHL patients battle a series of tumors throughout their life. VHL may occur in up to 10 organs of the body with a possibility of neuroendocrine tumors. Her autobiographical fictional account has been published by Sahitya Akademi. She also wrote, “The Adventures of Mum and Princess is her attempt to write mystery stories. Even with the rarest form of brain tumors, she took the challenge to write a paranormal novel with a dash of spy-thriller known as Midnight. She also wrote her survival story “A Warrior Dies Dancing That’s Who I Am…” She finds positivity and warmth through her life writing and poetry also through creating much-needed awareness

O Mind! O, Soul!

 The irony of the struggle,

Strange fatigue,

The emotional strain,

 Tantalize and torment,

 The twopenny-halfpenny existence.

 Weary mind grunts and groans,

Everything feels bitterly cold,

 Engulfed in Gloom of doom.

The human scum,

The rotting heart,

 Hypocrisy and cruelty,

Cowardice and defiance,

 Immensely solitary existence,

The repulsive individual

Feels a growing desire for gamely death.

The gambler cries in the sodden life,

Everything is mistrustful, scheming, and Vile.

Struck by forlornness, hazed in the maze,

Close to the edge on a tight-rope

 Viewing the hodge-podge of despicable mess,

 Gleamy eyes ablaze

 Losing everything at showdown,

Reaching the  fag-end

 Unafraid, unfazed takes chance,

Life is not a choice, rooted in chance,

Doesn’t rue till the end game.

What a thrill life is, only a gambler can get it. I wrote this at the time of one of my deadly surgeries when crowd-funding wasn’t going fast but time was running out.

I expect nothing but still, there are times when there is a wild disappointment as in life’s game as I walk with my head erect, never stooping and honoring my self-respect.

I’m not a weakling, my heart doesn’t understand fear. My only aspiration as a warrior is to climb higher.

I don’t have a twopenny-halfpenny existence. I began my travel threatened with a dangerous malady in the middle of my parent’s grief because of deception and family betrayal. I was aware I might meet both victory and defeat but after the glad tidings came my father realized that there exists another realm and perished miserably.

The cold, distant insensitive people turned my optimism into a fitness rage in my misery. The cold silence and the cold light of reason rattled in the cold empty world of my brain into a terrible depression.

People with small brains with shallowness, cowardice, and hypocrisy made life and death vague and hazy.

Soul realized that it had traveled in its privacy and seclusion and how this amazing past journey can help the present and future.

“And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die and death shall flee from them”-Revelation 9:6. But we don’t realize we have been granted life and our life there is some purpose behind getting human life.

God doesn’t play dice but tests our tenacity and the test of time.

 You won’t believe that I waited so long to pass the fascinating test because it was honest strife. But I think parts of the test are remaining.

In the bleak and windy days, ebb and tide I acquired scars, became half-blind with a fearless mind.

With the fondest hope shucking despair, faced life as no other greatest quality choice was offered.

My pain

I don’t weep

Sometimes I can’t sleep

I get pain in the wind that blow

On cold nights when the stars glow

When the sun awaken

When there is rain

I don’t cry

Because I won’t easily die

I am half-blind

But thankful to those who are kind

Appreciate all little things and the love I got

My life means a lot

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