In order to make battling corona virus more ‘fun’, Yoga Babaji announces its new hot product, “Gaumutra Infused Yellow Wine”
by- Piyush Jain
After a series of successful and spiritual product launches, Yoga Babaji has now announced their newest breakthrough in the sciences of ‘cow stuff’, a Gaumutra infused wine.
As corona virus spreads its wings, more and more people now need to consume the holy elixir, gaumutra, to fight the virus, along with every virus to ever have existed or were to exist.
“While people were drinking gaumutra in huge quantities everyday, something felt missing, and as you know Baba ji is very quick to pick up these flaws, so he pointed out that the process was missing the glamour, that he reciprocates in all his products from his own juicy self” said a urine wine taster pointing out the indigenous strategy of infusing gaumutra with wine to gather mass appeal.
“We just want to see people healthy, but who said you can’t make it fun too? Now along with being fully protected, you will also be able to kill the boredom of staying home all day by beating your wives, minus the guilt.” Said the marketing manager at Babaji’s company, before getting a very angry text from his boyfriend.
With this new addition, Babaji’s company has run even more advertising agencies in the foreign market out of business, because the yellow and slightly stinky wine pairs perfectly with the most expensive cut of the Japanese Wagyu beef. Readers are not to confuse the word ‘beef’ with the holy one, the one banned in India, because scientific research has proved that only Indian cows are suitable to keep 33 crore gods within. The cows from other countries are too slutty.
“We were doing well in the ‘what do they say – illiterate market’, but Babaji’s flailing chest hair wanted more. So we created a product to put us right next to the luxury giants. Now when a dinner is served at a Michelin star restaurant, truffles are not the stinkiest thing anymore.” Said who the fuck cares.